Ultimate Control

Xiao Jie has had little control the past six weeks. Her world has been turned upside down and then some. She has lost her home, her caregivers and all that was familiar sights, smells, food tastes, sounds... I was unprepared for just how different China was from Nova Scotia in so many unexpected ways, and with little preparation and no input, she has given that up to come and live with us in our messy, chaotic lives.

So it is to be expected that she would try to regain control over the areas of her life that are manageable for her little 2.5 year old self. This is a common theme in adoption resources; the child latches onto whatever is in reach and holds on for dear life to control that small piece. They may refuse to eat, refuse to poop (both of which Wen did initially), refuse to sleep, talk, walk...

Wen took Control to a whole new level today. After dropping Jack at the bus, we came home and she said she had to pee. Since she had to pee, Little Miss did too, it's a group event, even Elliot came in to cheer them on. Wen sat to pee, and sat and sat and sat. Eventually I suggested PJ go up to the bathroom upstairs to pee instead of wait. When PJ left, Wen announced "All done!" and got up. I cleaned her up and got her off the stool calling Paxten back in. Paxten came in and headed for the toilet and AnnaWen whined and pointed to show she had to go again. Figuring she had a last minute urge, I put her back on and she sat some more. And sat and sat and sat. And slowly I added two and two and got four... I said "here Paxten, come hide out here" and put her just outside the bathroom and outside of Wen's view (her not understanding English has one or two perks, I might as well exploit them while I can). Sure enough, when I turned back to face Wen she grinned and announced "All done!". She stood up, and stepped off the stool, but when Paxten came back in the room again, she whined, and wanted back up on the toilet. Little Sh--, scammer.

I explained that her turn was over and Paxten was allowed to use the toilet. I believe we have new, self appointed Royalty in our family, and an Empress must have her throne.

N