Philosophy BS

Time is linear, everyone knows that. It runs in a straight line and measured by units that are uniform and dependable. So why does a session with a rough client last forever? Why does a massage fly by in a blink? Why can 3 hours with the Munsters feel like 3 years or 3 seconds depending on the children's moods and behaviour?

One month ago today, we adopted our AnnaWen. We had known her for less than 24 hours, but loved her for over 24 months. I can't explain what the last month feels like; in some ways the time has flown and I wonder where a month could have gone, in other ways that day was so long ago, I wonder if it was me in this lifetime - was I really in Lanzhou, Gansu, China?


I think time is warped by Wen's fitting so well in our family. My time off, especially the trip, went by very quickly as most pleasurable times do. Wen herself feels like Forever. I've forgotten what it was like before she was with us. I remember thinking it would be hard to take care of four kids, including two terrible twos, and wondered how I'd do it, if I'd do it. It's not easy, don't misunderstand me, but it's strangely familiar already. It's Right. In the past month, I've read over blog posts where I stressed about not getting a referral at all, about her referral when we finally received it and whether or not we were doing the right thing accepting it. Her medical information was far from complete and I had many fears about what could be wrong. I was terrified, b/c I knew we couldn't handle many of the conditions I stressed about in my darkest moments. I realized, though, that no amount of additional information was going to wipe out that fear altogether and I had to close my eyes and jump... I don't understand that fear now. I don't know how I could have existed without knowing, without knowing her. Her presence in our family seems so basic it has always been, her existance is already intrinsic to everything I know. And that knowing is the same for all four Munsters, beyond the history of how they came to be ours, they just are. Maybe that's what makes us their parents.

Now if I could only be so sure on what she's whining about, even some of the time...

N