Better NOT left unsaid

Inspired by a friend lamenting "I didn't think I'd have to say, 'don't pee on the house'", I'm compiling a list of things that should be included in my contract as unnecessary to be said, and therefore, should be known, understood, appreciated and obeyed without being voiced. So far I have:

"don't eat it off your plate" (pet style, as in mouth to plate, no intervening utensil or digits)

"don't kick the garbage across the floor"

"don't lick the snot out of your nose"
similarily... "don't SUCK the snot out of your nose" (a curled tongue against an upper lip creates a straw, didn't you know.

"don't put your food in your cup" (cup of milk)

"don't put that in your ____" (choose one of: nose, eye, mouth, ear, pants)
"don't put that in your sister's ____" (choose from above list)
"don't spit your dinner out, look at it, and put it back in"
"don't steal the castle"
"don't chew on the book"
"don't eat that" ('that' being a surprizingly long list of items that you don't want to hear)
"don't step on your brother"
"don't (ride, step on, sit on, JUMP on, step over, feed, poke, pull or yell at) the dog"
"don't lick the grocery cart handle"

"don't throw the keyboard"
"don't stand on the table" directly followed by "don't jump off the table"
"don't spit on your hands"

"for the fourth time..." (goes with any number of the rest of this list and then some)

"don't act like an idiot" (I haven't actually said that one yet, but I've been so darn close... anyone have a politically correct way to say it?)

"don't put your finger in the cat's bum"

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I reserve the right to maintain this list as an active project to which I may add submissions at any time.

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