Late babes.

September 5th was a magical date. I found out I was expecting Jack on December 25th. Using an online "EDD Calculator" (estimated date of delivery), I learned Jack would be arriving September 5, 2002. This date was confirmed by my doc at the first prenatal appointment. Of course, everything I read, heard in the prenatal class and from experienced moms, told me that the emphasis on the term EDD needs to be on the E for ESTIMATED, but instead I focused on the DD for due date.

Fast forward 10 months (who the hell started the 9 month rumour?) and September 5th finally arrived! I struggle to find the words to describe the feeling of that day. "Anticipation" fits, like watching a horror movie and knowing the villian is about to jump out at any second, but without the fear and screaming - well a different kind of fear. Anticipation that made me stop and attend to every twinge in my body, holding my breath and thinking "was that it?". In the end, my Bear waited 8 days to make his arrival, and needed to be kicked out at that.

When I was told an EDD for Elliot, I automatically tried to add two weeks to his date. He was due May 16, so I set my sights on "the end of May". I was pretty sure I was ready to wait it out. I'd been burned by a late delivery once before there was no way I'd fall for that 'due date' part again. The Moose was a mere 6 days late and I was six days frustrated. I guess I was never fooled by my "end of May" deadline.

Tink was different. By the time she was due I knew she was my last pregnancy and I was trying to soak up every minute. It was only when the doctor threatened to induce me that I started to will her out. For the record, she was five days late.

Families on CB's Waiting Child wait list received their referrals yesterday. Our referral needs to be sent to the gov't officials first, which (if we are matched) should have happened yesterday. That makes today our EDD - the first date we may have received a referral. It was easy to stay home by the phone, with three sick kids - well, two sick kids and a faker. I wasn't feeling great myself anyway. SO, after a visit to the doc to formally diagnose PJ's pink eye (lovely) we spent the day at home on the couch watching Treehouse. Again, I had that feeling of anticipation... I was poised for the phone to ring at any moment, I had a sense that time was ticking down to that instant. It rang twice, both times it was Steve at work. The first time, he hung up after one ring which was just enough for me to pounce on the handset and will the call display to appear. The second time he called to ask me to let the dog out, so his computer nerd posse could appreciate the security camera on the deck to its fullest.

On September 6, 2002, and again on May 17, 2004 I woke one day late. Still frustrated, still anxious, I had lost the "today's the day" feeling and settled into knowing it was soon. Yes, I wanted that day (and every day after for almost a week) but the lesson of not expecting a certain date had been learned. No call came today. I hope I can relax into that lesson again; if a call is coming, it'll come this week, and that's as close as it gets in this game.

N