Fear and Prayers

There is a quote somewhere that says "To be a mother is to decide to forever more wear your heart outside of your body". I'm paraphrasing, I'm sure it's much more eloquant when quoted accurately. I have felt that before - my heart hurting if one of my children is sad, my heart skipping a beat when they almost fall, my heart racing when they're nervous or excited. But this time my heart is in China, and scared to death.

There was a devestating earthquake in China yesterday, measuring 7.8 on the R scale, and already responsible for thousands of deaths. The epicentre of the quake was in Sichuan, which is a neighbouring province of Gansu. In the map, Sichuan is peach and Gansu is light blue, both in the middle-ish of the country.

I initially tried to ignore news, I took a quick peak at the map to see how close Sichuan was to Gansu and figured it was far enough away not to be worried. Then one of my innocent readings noted fatalities in Gansu. They specified North West Gansu which is quite far from Lanzhou. It may be selfish, but in reading about the thousands lives lost, I'm thinking, hoping and praying for ONE little life.

This quake may have shifted her earth, but it has suddenly rocked my reality. Now that it has happened I am seeing all the other threats - there is risk of aftershocks and further damage due to weakened structures. There's always risk of other things happening - one news site noted an intestinal illness that has killed 28 children in China. Pictures of the orphanage show a fountain in the play area. I'm sure there are climbers and stairs and dark corners... Anything could happen. Anything.

I'm afraid I have to take an ostrich approach. I can't read the news, I can't think of it too much. I have to hide and pray that she's okay, will continue to be okay. I can't protect her, so I have to love her from afar, and implore Him to watch over her.


N