Heartbreak and Hope

Team Sampson is down by one. My Sweet Sam is gone. Sammy LOVED to run. She'd run at any opportunity, especially if someone was trying to catch her. She'd run JUST close enough to you that you thought you had a chance, and I swear she laughed as she went by. She loved to bark at people, animals, wind, leaves, snow, shadows but refused to bark when waiting to be let in. She tore the screens out of our windows instead. She loved to wrestle with Rookie, or play tug with me. She loved to fetch balls. She could jump from the floor to counter with no effort, and enjoyed more than one steak that way. She refused to sleep on the floor, preferring to curl up at my feet in the bed or, recently, in Jack's bed. She loved to have her belly scratched, and liked it when I pulled her ears. She made great eye contact, and had the deepest brown eyes. She lived in extremes, having two speeds - full out and dead asleep. She wagged her tail with gusto, which hurt if it caught you the wrong way. She liked to curl up in my lap, ignoring her 47lb reality. She loved to kiss toddlers whose faces were at convenient heights. She loved running with me, and I asked her to join me this spring when I go out again. She shadowed me, and made me feel like I was someone's universe. She was silly, loving, obnoxious, smart, funny, affectionate, empathetic and so, so sweet. She loved with enthusiasm from every ounce of her being.

Life sucks and decisions need to be made. She has been increasingly aggressive with Rookie, and discussions I've had with people I trust make me believe this behaviour had a medical source. I took her and held her and talked in her ear, and heard her tail hit the floor while it wagged until the very end. She was loved, and will be sorely missed.

And then I came home and to the computer to tell a few who needed to know. In doing that, I found an email sent yesterday by CB. They have received files for 10 children. There is a very good chance Anna's paperwork is in that pile. It'll take 3-4 weeks for them to translate the information and consult with medical professionals to facilitate matching. I don't know if it's the wait and it's pattern of letting us down, or the weight of my heart with the events of today, but I have little reaction yet. We'll know more in the coming weeks.

Such a bittersweet day.

N