A Bumble of Thoughts

I realize I haven't been writing as much as I was before, for many reasons - some good, some bad. As I've noted, life has been hectic lately and with Christmas coming... well, you know. The other reason I haven't been around falls into the realm of funk-induced writer's block - I don't like bitching every time I write, and sometimes I fear if I sit to write that's all I'd do. And what do I have to bitch about really? Our life is exactly where we hoped, prayed and dreamed it would be when we started the adoption process almost three years ago - or when we started building our family over seven years ago... but even the dream life has ugly moments, days, weeks. It's no secret now that I struggled through PPD with all three babies, and I know Post Adoption Depression is a true condition and a higher risk for women with PPD history... so when I string together a few rough days I start to worry. I didn't and don't expect four kids aged 6 and under (with two two year olds) to be easy, relaxing or stress-free... but how much frustration is expected and how much is too much? I don't know. And half the problem is the stress and frustration feeds on itself... it starts with a rough five minutes, that reduces my tolerance for the next hour which plummets me into a horrible day... pulling out of that dive is near impossible. But is that clinical? or is it typical? Especially with what else is going on with our split work schedules, my business changes and office move, post adoption adjustment, Gram's increased care, recently... I'm banking on typical, trying to take more deep breaths, get more exercise and take a step back sometimes. Steve took over the kids yesterday and I escaped for an afternoon of Christmas shopping and dinner with girlfriends, and magically today was much better - even when Jack threw a tantrum when his potty-talk lost his bedtime show and PJ bit Wen, which I can't condone but kinda cheered since Wen has bitten Paxten many times, I'm hoping it helps her see the other side. Hmm, this is deteriorating into a run on, babbling, paragraph...

Speaking of babbling AnnaWen has been talking up a storm. Being the anal SLP Mom I am I have an Excel spreadsheet to document the words she acquires by date. She's up to over 80 words or phrases (some phrases count as a "word" not two or three words b/c she uses them together all the time). I first thought I'd copy and paste the whole list here, but with the lack of punctuation in the previous paragraph, I figure I've used up my boring quota for this post. Here are some of my favourites: 'CanIhave...' (run together as one word followed by a word or point to what she wants), 'one more!' (with three fingers raised up), 'you're welcome' (said as she gives something to someone, before they can say thankyou as if she's prompting their manners), 'look at me!' and as of today 'I love you', which sounds more sweet if I leave out that she said it first to Moses the cat. She is loving talking too... you can see her wheels moving. She asks all the time "what's that?... what's that?... what's that?" and then repeats the label we tell her as if trying to commit it to memory for later use. She still uses some Mandarin, though mostly in greetings or etiquette that we've tried to include Mandarin phrases - xie xie for thankyou, sai chein for goodbye (though I've botched that spelling). She consistently calls Jack "Gege", and sometimes calls Elliot "Didi" on his insistance. Her last true Mandarin word was 'maow' for 'cat' which she dropped a few weeks ago for 'kitty'. She's picking up an average of 5 new words a day now, which blows my mind. The best effect of this is her whining is way down... where she used to whine and moan to make requests she's now using words 'Help, Momma!' or 'my turn!' or 'drink?'/'eat?'... it's so much nicer.

Anyway I s'pose that's long enough for tonight.

N