Back on Board

Okay, I'm back on board... I know why we're adopting, and more importantly why we're not selling the children we have to finance the adoption.

I've had a few nice moments of serenity this week, wherein the wait didn't seem that big of a deal and the child we're searching for seemed close and familiar. It's hard to explain, but a moment will surface when I think of her and know her, as if she has been with us all along and we're waiting for a reunion, not a meeting. Those moments are comforting because it makes me believe that we will reach the end of this journey and find her, it's only a matter of time.

I suspect we have 18-24 months left to wait, which is actually about what we thought we'd wait when we were logged in, so after six months we don't feel any closer. But we are closer - time is linear (for the most part :D) and so since six months have passed we MUST be six months closer. Looking forward, 18-24 months feels like a lifetime, but looking back...

Jack is entering school in September - how is that possible? he's almost 5 YEARS old!
Elliot will be three the end of May, twice his age when PJ was born.
Speaking of PJ, she's almost 18 months herself - the age Elliot was when she was born - those 18 months flew by...

I must remind myself to be sooo careful not to wish away the time we wait... These children are growing too fast as it is, I don't want them to move along any faster - I prefer the CCAA to move faster! In two years, Jack will be in first grade, Elliot will be entering school, Paxten will be three and doing everything her brothers do now - I don't want that to happen any sooner than it should.

So, although I'd much rather not wait that long for Anna, I must be patient in that wait. And hope for a CCAA speedup in the meantime!

N