It's been almost a year since we heard of our girl. We've had her in our home for over six months now, after dreaming of her for two years. Tonight at supper, I watched her in her chair and remembered looking at the empty chair and trying to imagine her filling it. Now that she's sitting there with her spunk and humour and smarts and beauty it's better than we could have ever imagined. I thought tonight too about her first family. I wasn't prepared for the loss I feel for them - I guess in realizing how perfect and wonderful she is in reality, I've also realized how much they lost when they lovingly gave her up. I've been feeling very heavy hearted for them lately, imagining how they must feel and what they must wonder about her. I read today that they are working on DNA databases for families affected by adoption, and I hope someday she'll be able to find some blood relatives that way, if not her first parents, maybe some blood siblings. I hope she is able to find some answers as she grows up and starts asking questions. I already feel terribly inadequate that I don't have those answers for her, and hope I can meet every opportunity to help her when or if she chooses to dig deeper into it. Today I paid a rediculous amount of money today for a copy of her "Finding Ad" published by the orphanage in their preparation to make her available for adoption... but it's the first piece of evidence that she existed... and we owe it to her to collect what we can.
N
2 comments:
... never doubt what a great mother you are: loving, caring, giving... you are terrific!!! Love ya sweety!!!
I got goosebumps reading your post tonight. We both found out about our girls within days of each other. Life is so amazing with them, yet as you say, they had to give so much up along with their birth parents. I tears your heart into a million little pieces.
You are so right to get that finding ad. Did you go through Brian?
Jill xx
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