Please step to the end of the line...

I'm peeved. I'm miffed. I'm annoyed, perturbed and frustrated... though it has nothing to do with me, this is my knee-jerk reaction.

A rumour site that I frequent has a story that is being discussed. In the most recent batch of referrals, a family who requested a girl was referred a boy. I've already discussed the issues of gender prefrence... if I knew how, I'd put a fancy link HERE that you could click, but instead you'll have to look in the archives if you're so inclined. To summarize my beliefs: we have requested a girl, but would accept a boy without hesitation. I believe it's okay for others to decline a boy referral if they so choose, but I also believe the CCAA has a right to respond to that refusal by saying "okay then, you had your chance" and not refer another. I actually thought that's what they'd do.

But apparently not always. A family has declined their boy referral and their agency is advocating for their provision of a second referral, specifically for a girl. The mom states that she "knows her daughter is out there" and needs to keep searching, reminding us that she "could not take a child if her heart isn't in it completely". Nice arguments, but this is a CHILD not a car purchase.

Maybe it's my bitterness at waiting, or my jealousy of her receiving a referral I would LOVE to have but I think this situation sucks. With 30,000 people waiting in line, why should they receive a second referral when the only problem with the first was gender? If anything, they should be put back in line to wait again, behind those who would gladly take that child.

Furthermore, I've heard rumours - and I have NO way to know if this is true or not - that if a child is declined at referral time, that child is not referred again. It's a matter of saving face; there must be something wrong with a child who is declined. I hope that isn't true. I hope that child isn't condemned to a life in an institution because one family wasn't flexible enough to accept what fate and chance had to offer.

I don't know why this story has me so worked up - as I said, it really has nothing to do with me. It sure feels like a kick in the teeth to those of us waiting as patiently as we can.

N