When confronted with possible trouble, AnnaWen shuts down. She stares blankly, sticks her tongue in her cheek and fiddles with her clothes. That's how I know she's done something wrong. Unfortunately I don't think she 'gets' truth or lies. If I ask "did you ..." invariably she shakes her head no and shuts down. The toughest part of it is, she assumes she's in trouble regardless of what I've asked her. This morning, I popped my head out of the shower to ask "Did you clip that plip on the magazine?" (She had fastened a hair clip (plip) on some pages of the magazine on the back of the toilet". Tongue in cheek, blank eyes, head shake 'no'. I took the plips from her and clipped them back on the magazine and said "that's neat! Is that what you did?". No. Later today the tv went snowy, which caught my attention and I caught her pushing buttons on the tv. I called her over and asked "Did you push the buttons?" Tongue in cheek, blank eyes, head shake 'no'. Even when I said it was okay to push the buttons she still wouldn't crack. I told her that I saw her push buttons and the right answer is "Yes", then asked her again and still "No". A few times. I put her in time out until she was ready to answer yes, not knowing what else to do.
When she came out of time out I asked her "is that a chair?", "yes". "Is it a hat?", "no". I explained that the answer 'yes' was the right answer, the truth, and no was not the truth. I repeated the question for a few known items, then for a few of her actions (is she standing? did she sit down?) all of which she answered accurately. Then back to the original question about the tv buttons, "no". I reiterated that I had seen her, that the truth, the right answer, was "yes", at which point she started crying and nodded yes.
The whole situation is aweful. I hate making a big deal about such a small, insignificant action. I hate asking her the same question and disregarding her given answer. But this time I KNEW I knew the truth (other times I'm pretty sure, but not sure enough to call her on it), so I wanted to use it as a learning point. I don't know how else to approach it. After she calmed down, I sat her down with the boys and PJ and "played a game". I got two sibs to tell me the truth and a third to "lie" by telling the 'not truth'. Then I asked Wen who was telling the truth and who was lying. She got it right most of the time, but then the whole game got to be 'too fun' and turned silly... I don't want lying to become fun! ARGH.
N
No comments:
Post a Comment